A Dead Love
by KoganLover96
Summary: Guys know this is KINDA pathetic but just had my heart broken ok, Needed to vent ha ha.


Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or anything else used in this story!

I would also like to leave a little Authors note, This is all a true story, As I, I am the main charecter, And this has just happened, Now on with the story...

For 4 years I had been in love with the most amazing, the most wonderful, god like Logan, he meant everything to me, I always looked out for him and I made sure he was safe, but over those 4 years I got depression, I got anger issues, I was up all night, I got an eating dissorder and I lost my motivation to do anything, but yet I still kept in love with him and kept everything going for him, planning my future with him and just being full on in love with him, giving my heart to him, my future to him, my joy, my happyness my everything.  
Throughout the years we had became closer and closer friends, he stared at me a lot in class and in the hall ways and we was inseperable and people always commented on how we looked like we was a couple, this just burned my passions, my aching disire to be with him, so I kept going and going, he would ditch his friends for me and if he could sit with his friends but there would be a space in between me and him, he would drag me over so we could be together not before he looked lost and confused though, we had been through thick and thin together.  
That is why in Science one day when he said "Hey Kendall, I need to tell you something, maybe in a months time or at the end of school but I will tell you and it will be bad for me, but good for me, but bad for me, but good for me, but bad or maybe good for you." When he said that, I got a hope in my heart and I was head over heels in love with him, my best friend Jo, we had it on and off before but kind of forgot about it now and he was the only one I had ever truely loved or had feelings for and I was sure he felt the same, I just needed to check.  
Me and all my friends from socializing sites talked about him like mad, Mainly me and Carlos "Carlos today me and Logan were talking and we did not stop looking at each others eyes or smiling!"  
"Wow Kendall bro that is pretty amazing! When are you going to tell him?"  
"When school end, though I am sure he does not like me."  
"Keny stop being silly he loves you man, especially after the stuff you have told me.  
"Carlitos come on you know I have not been wrong with love yet and I still am waiting for the day I am, I am certain we are not to be."  
"Kendall you and Logan ARE meant to be! Kind of like me and James are, Now common and tell him now!"  
"I am not going to untill the end of school you silly little fluff ball!"  
"Fine bu you have to."  
This conversation was becoming standard and everyone was getting used to it, then one day, me and Jo never seemed to talk to each other as much and she had been my friend for 14 years and we had been through thick and thin together, then one day we started talking again and I told her the truth I am gay and madly in love with Logan, she never seemed shocked by most of this which made me laugh but I was happy to have her again me and Jo are practically brother and sister! Kind of why I could not kiss her.  
She like everyone else was set on he loved me and we joked about it a lot but I still had the gut feeling we was just friends, if only I believed that feeling a few months later.  
It came to the last day and in Science, my favourite class and same for Logan.  
"Hey Logie how are you!"  
"Not too bad eye brows you?"  
"That is good to hear, I am not bad myself." I had the hugest grin on my face, it was the day before school ended for good for us, we was in Highschool and both 16.  
We talked a lot that lessons and we was grabbing at each other a lot, and we even was fighting a lot but with our legs so that was a joyful expirience being wrapped around him like that, when it came to the end of the lesson I left for lunch and he left to be with his friends so we said our goodbyes and to see each other next lesson.  
In next lesson which was IT he noticed he could not sit next to me and his friends were somewhere else so he whined like usual and made a sound only Logan can make but I pretended not to take notice of it and faked my computer could not work just to be with him, when I sat next to him I heard Jett go "Common Dan me and you will do filming together!" Which meant they had to leave class together but after Logan had finished his work.  
"Logan PLEEEEEASE don't leave! This is like the last class I will have with you, please! Just take it slow doing your work!"  
"Why don't you want me to leave Kendall? We will be quick I promise!"  
"Fine but as long as your quick, I don't want to be left alone."  
About 20 Minutes later and they had to leave, Jett and Logan left but not before telling me to take care of their spaces and their bags so I did, I was so happy seeing them come back, mainly Logan, I disliked Jett but he could be nice sometimes, it came to the end of the day and I took in Logan beautifal features one last time, that night me and him had chatted a lot on the internet complaining how we do not want school to end, I secretly kept saying I did not want to miss anyone and I would miss the teachers when secretly it would be him I would miss.  
When it came to the next day I was distrought to find out I had no classes with him but we would see each other in the Sports Hall to get all the tops signed, after a college meeting and saying good bye to everyone we bumped into each other and I nearly cried.  
"Kendall turn around."  
I did as he said so and felt him scribble something on my back, I repeated the processe to him.  
"Logan who will you miss most?"  
He said "Mainly the Science teacher and some of my friends, what about you?"  
I replied back with a little blush "I will miss you and Camille and Gustavo a lot and the Science teacher too!"  
We carried on a chat a bit and then we went our seperate ways, my heart was filled with joy when I saw Logan in the assembely hall for our leavers assembely though,  
after all that was done and everyone said a final goodbye me, Jo and one of Jo's friends left the hall, we said goodbye to the Science teacher getting a bit to emotional, then she noticed how quick I was wakling.  
"Kendall did you speak to someone yet?"  
That is when I started running with a hug goofy grin on my face why she chased and screamed "KENDALL!" After noticing Jo gave up I waiter for her and we left school together and hugged goodbye as we woud be seeing each other later.  
When I got home the thing I first did was take of my top and put a clean one on then go to my Laptop to talk to Logan, I logged onto the socializing site and said something I would later regrett "Logan I have been hiding something from you for four years now, and well it has not been fair, I hope you understand but, I'm gay can you guess who I like?" Late on in the day I got a reply "Probably who?" I was nervous and on the verge of tears and said "You" What happened next had killed me,  
Logan did not react to me saying I am gay or for the fact I was in love with him which I knew meant no, this is when I went to Kelly.  
"Kelky I told you like I told everyone else! He did not love me and now I have lost my best friend, the one I love, the one I poured my heart and soul into and just everything good into!"  
"Kendall I am so so so so sorry!"  
"I am never wrong with love and I knew he did not love me..."  
That is when I started crying and telling Jo what had happened, she seemed to be taking it good which was more difficult for me though I never told her, after this I wanted nothing to do with Logan but Jo still wanted answers, so she carried on takling to him, I had done with crying but when she told me the reason he did not love me was because he was Homophobic I never cried so bad, I put signs on my door saying no one to come in, and I cried and I cried and I got so mad, Logan, the one I loved, the one everyone said who loved me, the one, him, he was Homophobic, I just crashed out and promised myself to never love someone again and just do what I Planned, get a flat with Jo, grow old with her and her husband and just base my future on Jo, the one who would never hurt me.

This may of seemed kinda rushed, pathetic and not much dialog but like i said, this is real life, this literally just happened to me and i am struggling to cope with it, I hope you understand i just needed to vent but put it into a story.


End file.
